Q: Nowadays, the topic fertility is very common, could u explain what makes you to write book on it?
A: Infertility remains shrouded by innumerable myths and misconceptions in India. Infertile women still continue to suffer from discrimination and ostracism and often pay a high price for their childlessness. This, in turn, contributes to a loss of self-esteem and creates emotional, marital, and economic insecurity in them. They are often very vulnerable and gullible, and they are ready to do anything to have a baby. Because they know so little about infertility and are so desperate to have a baby, many infertility doctors continue to take them for a ride.
I wrote this book for many reasons-
I wanted to break the barriers of shame and stigma that surround infertility and dispel the myths and misconceptions surrounding it. I also wanted to help protect couples who cannot have children and to make sure that they get the right medical care and mental support they need.
I wanted people to know the emotional turmoil and the unspoken grief and suffering that infertile couples go through in their agonizing journey of infertility so that they can be more empathetic and more understanding towards these couples.
I also wanted to let the infertile couples know that they are not alone in this deeply personal journey and thought my stories would offer them solace, and support.
I also wanted to give hope and inspiration through these stories and teach them resilience, unwavering determination, and faith.
Q: What have you learned while writing this book?
A: I have realized that being an IVF specialist is my Ikigai. I have realized how blessed I am to be an IVF specialist because I can create not just babies but create families and change the lives of so many people for the better. I am grateful to God for giving me this opportunity to marry science, art, craft, and compassion to be able to make a difference in so many people’s lives.
I have also realized that the thing that gives me immense joy and happiness in my work is seeing that special smile on an infertile couple’s face when they first find out that their treatment has succeeded. Though I have treated thousands of patients from all over the world and more than 15,000 babies have been born as a result of my treatment, even today after all these years, seeing that special smile on my patients’ faces still fills my heart with indescribable joy.
Reflecting and reminiscing about my patients and their treatments while writing this book has helped me become a better version of myself. This book, if nothing else, has made me a more complete human being, a little wiser, a little more fulfilled, and a lot more grateful than I have ever been in my life.
Q: What suggestion will you give to infertile couples to have children?
A: I would tell them that there is no need to hide the fact that they are having difficulty conceiving, from their close family and friends. Infertility is not a stigma and there is no need to be ashamed of it. It is a medical disorder just like any other medical disorder, like diabetes or heart disease.
I would advise them not to give up hope and to keep on trying because today technology has advanced so much in the field of assisted reproductive technology, that almost any couple can have their dream of having a baby come true.
As fertility declines rapidly over the age of thirty-five and even more so after the age of forty, one should visit a doctor as early as possible if one is having trouble conceiving.
Infertile couples are also very gullible and vulnerable, so I would encourage them to read about infertility and get the right information. This will not only help them make well-informed decisions with their doctor but will also prevent them from being taken for a ride or being cheated.
At the same time, I would tell them not to get stressed, remain positive, and have faith in themselves, in their doctor, and in God.
I would also like to emphasize that there is no need for them to give up trying. There are many options that they can explore, from child-free living to adoption to using advanced reproductive technology. Today, there are multiple ways of having a family, and I want to encourage couples to explore these rather than regret the fact that they wasted their chance to have a family because of preconceived notions.
Every baby is truly a blessing, whether they are conceived in the bedroom or in the IVF lab!
“I want to break the barriers of shame and stigma that surround infertility” – Dr. Malpani