First and foremost, don’t be afraid to prioritise your sexual well-being. Starting your sexual health journey might be intimidating, but that’s no need to put it off. People frequently fail to read the fine print on sex due to restricted access to sex education in schools — it’s meant to be about pleasure! Sexual health, like physical and mental well-being, should be a top concern for you, with no taboos attached. But where do you start, how do you talk about sex with a partner, or how do you talk about embracing lubrication (we all need it!) – here are some professional suggestions to assist you out.
The Stigma Involved, and Looking Past It
“Unfortunately, we are still part of a culture that shames young people for premarital sex and makes it difficult to obtain facilities,” Seema Anand, Kamasutra specialist, mythologist, and author of The Arts Of Seduction, said. This is a serious issue; it is caused by a lack of facilities as well as a fear of being judged. “However, where there is a will, there is a way.”
A healthy connection with your body and acquaintance with your intimate parts is more than simply a cultural issue; it is also a matter of health. “We live in the age of cyber knowledge,” Seema advises, “so go online and hunt for information on the issue.” And don’t only listen to what the local clinics have to say.
I find it quite valuable to visit sexual health clinics throughout the world and observe what advise they provide.”
Extensive research, however, should not be the end of the process. While you’re looking for the correct information on the internet, you should also learn to know your body. “Just as physicians would encourage you to examine your breasts for lumps on a regular basis, know your nether areas as well.” Examine yourself, paying attention to your odours and emissions. “Also, keep an eye out for any changes,” Seema warns.
Is it true that sex hurts?
“Sex isn’t intended to hurt— not even the first time— so first and foremost, please know that pain isn’t something you just have to ‘live with’ just because you have a vagina,” says Leeza Mangaldas, digital creative and everyone’s favourite “Internet Sex Lady.”
This is where lubricant comes into play, which is why we emphasise the need of utilising lube. “Pain during penetrative vaginal intercourse is most commonly due to inadequate lubrication; it helps to ensure that you are already feeling extremely calm and aroused before trying penetration,” Leeza explains. She goes on to say that when excited, the vagina relaxes and creates lubricant, making penetration more pleasant.
Don’t forget the most crucial C-word here — Clitoral! “Clitoral stimulation can help make the vagina feel calm and stimulated.”
Your spouse should also be informed. “Speak with your companion, take things slowly, and move gently.” “The friction and impact of powerful thrusting motions can occasionally hurt, and you should let them know if you’re in pain rather than feeling like you should just go through with it,” Leeza advises.
“If you experience persistent or unbearable pain when attempting any sort of insertion into the vagina—such as even with a tampon—or such that penetrative sex feels impossible,” Leeza said, “it’s worth consulting your gynaecologist about vaginismus, which is the involuntary contraction of vaginal muscles that can make any sort of penetrative contact extremely uncomfortable.”
How Can You Involve Your Partner In Your Sexual Wellness Journey?
It’s difficult to discuss sex with your partner, whether it’s a new one or one you’ve been with for years. However, it is also required. A discussion of sexual history, including STIs, is essential whether you are in a monogamous relationship or with several partners. “Over half of the population has STIs; some of the illnesses are incurable; some are painful, while others, such as HIV AIDS, are life-threatening,” Seema explained.
Seema, on the other hand, outlined the difficulties associated with such discussions. To be honest, sex-related talks may be awkward. “It’s due to a lack of words for this.” “I wish dating apps would make STI screenings a necessary part of the bio so that one issue is solved before you ever meet,” says Seems, who makes a reasonable point.
So, how do you negotiate these conversations with your partner? Expert advice might be useful if you haven’t been able to establish a connection with your spouse yet or if you’re in a new relationship.
“Create a small screenplay in your thoughts; just a few of phrases like “Hey, I’m looking forward to this but I’m very into safe sex, where do you stand on the matter,” Seema says.
The key point here is to be aware of your body’s requirements, expectations, and safety. “Always do your homework!” Find a clinic and a sympathetic gynaecologist,” Seema concludes.